But I Know You Too Well

Isnadiah Youwanda Wardani present:

A song-fiction of idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish.

June 7, 2022

But I Know You Too Well

I’VE ALWAYS WANTED to be more.

I’m sick of doing my everyday—it always leads me to death.

Still, I cannot die.

I have sat here all day. That ‘someone’ stared at me menacingly. None of her words were calming, but hustling. Yet somehow, she gave me the best place to lean my gambling. I or me?

She’s got a vulnerable heart which’s torn apart by her own scratches. I saw them. I saw what she made. I feel what she has broken. I’ve got a hand to feel her sorrow; yet it’s always that see-through lining set us apart.

She always cried on my face; I always listen to her mournful song. Yet her tears spoke misery more than her plaint to everybody. We are that everybody.

Dear, Someone Whom the Person She Met, love her as you drive her memory away from this throttling lullaby.

One day, she came without a thing.

Days gaining uncontrollably, and it’s now spring.

Spring and a day she came in without blinking.

And I sing.

Don’t be that way

Fall apart, twice a day

Show, never tell

But I know you too well

Got a mood, that you wish you could sell

She looks at me.

It only takes 3 minutes and 23 seconds ‘till I finally know.

idontwannabeyouanymore.

I’ve always wanted to be more.

I or me?

Was I hers?

Was I her?

She chooses her.

I can never be me without her.

It speaks much of how bad that I want to be more than herself.

I don’t want to be you anymore.

This see-through lining never told me to know.

And then I die in her first blow.